Have you ever encountered a stopping point in your life? A sort of wall or barrier. One so big that life itself has come to a screeching halt. I’m sure you have, but what that was might not be entirely the same situation that another individual faced/faces. Particularly the same thing that I face. However, if it is of any benefit, I shall share because perhaps it is.
Seated in darkness and bathed by the white light that emanates from the laptop, I am plagued with but one obvious and re-occurring issue. That stopping point in my life that, no matter how hard I attempt to avoid its grasp, it reaches out to halt me in whatever bit of happiness I perceived I possibly had. It is as though I am running a marathon, accompanied by my companions and family. The commodity of time and finance is in a surplus and I share all that I have with all whom I love. And then, in the span of a few short moments, it’s gone. The surplus remains. My friends and family remain. But my happiness is gone. The fun I had enjoyed but a few short moments ago have become the forgotten mist of a storm on a sunny day. Now, it is valid that one might suppose that this is simply a mood swing or perhaps a deeper psychological occurrence that can be remedied by prescription or therapy. However, what makes this re-occurring blockade so difficult to deal with is that it the product of my own disobedience and stupidity. I know where true happiness lies. I know the experience they call “joy” that lies beyond the jovial chemical reactions eliciting a sentiment of the human mind and heart. Sadly, I continue to believe that friends, family, finance, and time shall remedy the hole in my heart. A hole that I took out when I willingly chose to run the opposite way of what I knew was true.
“Be strong and of good cheer. Have faith that the faint sentiment of despair shall fade as His light and love shines brightly over you. In this, will you come to the realization of true Peace, true Joy, and true Love.”