6-1-2017

Have you ever encountered a stopping point in your life? A sort of wall or barrier. One so big that life itself has come to a screeching halt. I’m sure you have, but what that was might not be entirely the same situation that another individual faced/faces. Particularly the same thing that I face. However, if it is of any benefit, I shall share because perhaps it is.

Seated in darkness and bathed by the white light that emanates from the laptop, I am plagued with but one obvious and re-occurring issue. That stopping point in my life that, no matter how hard I attempt to avoid its grasp, it reaches out to halt me in whatever bit of happiness I perceived I possibly had. It is as though I am running a marathon, accompanied by my companions and family. The commodity of time and finance is in a surplus and I share all that I have with all whom I love. And then, in the span of a few short moments, it’s gone. The surplus remains. My friends and family remain. But my happiness is gone. The fun I had enjoyed but a few short moments ago have become the forgotten mist of a storm on a sunny day. Now, it is valid that one might suppose that this is simply a mood swing or perhaps a deeper psychological occurrence that can be remedied by prescription or therapy. However, what makes this re-occurring blockade so difficult to deal with is that it the product of my own disobedience and stupidity. I know where true happiness lies. I know the experience they call “joy” that lies beyond the jovial chemical reactions eliciting a sentiment of the human mind and heart.  Sadly, I continue to believe that friends, family, finance, and time shall remedy the hole in my heart. A hole that I took out when I willingly chose to run the opposite way of what I knew was true.

“Be strong and of good cheer. Have faith that the faint sentiment of despair shall fade as His light and love shines brightly over you. In this, will you come to the realization of true Peace, true Joy, and true Love.”

-David Moreno

Can I Be Honest…?

Can I be honest…? Have you ever had these overwhelming sentiments that cast you into an incredibly helpless state?  Have you ever experienced a seemingly hopeless struggle between insanity and rational thought. If you have , most likely it has been because of a “her” or a “him.” I pray that those of you whom are reading this have not experienced this, but in all reality I know you have. I know that you all, at one point or another, have placed your identity in another human being…

Can I be honest…? It makes me cry, with a deep and painful sorrow, to see an incredibly wonderful human being place their identity in the hands of another. To witness a beautiful soul place all that they are in the hands of a careless individual. In those moments, my mind and heart becomes plagued with a crushing pain. It goes beyond, “I’d be better for them.” Rather, it becomes questions of, “Don’t you know you’re beautiful?”, “Don’t you know you’re so creative?”, “Don’t you know everything about you makes you so unique?”, “Haven’t you the slightest idea you are worth more than the birds of the air, the fishes of the sea, and the creatures of the land?”, “Don’t you know we love you?”, “Why can’t you see?”….

Can I be honest…? You might reject my compassion as nothing more than a young fellow caught up in an infatuation with a young lady. But, for the first time in forever, my hurt heart hurts for more than just a “her.” My heart honestly and earnestly hurts for the broken. It hurts for the weak. It hurts for the lost. It hurts for the blind. It hurts for the rejected. It hurts for the unloved. It hurts for every soul unwilling to love the “him” or “her” that they are…

Can I be honest…? I love you. I love you so much. With an intense, fiery passion that consumes every fiber of my being, I love you. But it is not with a romantic lust that seeks to satiate a sexual need. It is not with a desire to exterminate the loneliness and lack of self-discovery of a young nineteen year old. It is not with an attempt to temporarily vanquish the hurt and pain that plagues your heart. It is not even a hope to one day assume the honored position of being your equal and other half. It is none of these…

Can I be honest…? I love you with a passion that made itself forever known on a cross two-thousand years ago. It is with a longing that sent a King from heaven to Earth. It is with a desire that is no respecter of man, but a lover of all souls. It is with a yearning that sends an army of angels to vanquish all your enemies. It is with a caring heart that fought death so that you might live. It is not my own love, but the Love of a true Father…

Can I be honest…? To her whom I had thought of when I first wrote this, I want you to smile. I want you to laugh. I want you to love and I want you to live. I want you to smile with a heart that emanates the hope and health of a strong woman. I want you to walk a thousand miles and to never be held down by what “he” did to you. I want you to break the ceiling he built over you, and to fly in the skies of liberty and success. I want you to find freedom from everyone whose ever wronged you and walk in health, happiness, and assurance of a Father who genuinely loves you to no end.

Can I be honest…? It’s hard being honest. Truly. Yet, when true love meets you in the middle of the night and asks you to be honest, what can you do but tell the truth…

Can I be honest…? Do you know what true love is…? What I know it to be, caring for another without condition. Pouring your heart out for someone, even when they will not reciprocate it. And above all, being happy when they find happiness. That is me being honest.

(Psalms 34:18)

Much Love, Me

The Questions

Who are you?

Who am I?

Why is the color blue, blue?

Why is an orange not a banana?

Why is wood hard?

Why have you tried answering these questions?

Why are you making that face?

When is this going to stop?

What is the point of this?

Why should I stop?

Is it possible to stop?

What even is stop?

Is there a sign for stop?

Why did you say yes?

Why am I still writing this when I have class in a couple minutes?

These are the questions….

 

Much Love David JM…? 

The Somber Melody

 

          A sound to behold in the deepest ear of one’s heart. Her cry sits softly upon the cool breeze, whisked about by the fair winds of the deep and dark midnight sky. For ’tis darker than the sorrows of yesterday, yet brighter than the hope of tomorrow. The Sun shall come to eviscerate the beauty of these early morning hours, so shall I stay to witness her pining. The moonlight flushes white over the open waters, and I can only hear the melodic notes trickle from her soft lips. The gown that wraps about her fair skin flows white as the fresh snow of the Spanish mountains, but burns as a fiery rose upon the fresh Summer grass. About every syllable and every sound, there is desperate sorrow climatically calling to he whom completes her. The deepening of her cry soars above the clouds and into the immense space of the heavens. Its sound drifts amongst the beauty of the stars. But soon mindful of the truth, her song plummets to the depths of the sea. Silenced under the mighty waves of the open ocean and succumbed to the darkness of the countless catacombs, she sings no more. For once was the cry of an angel on Earth, a somber melody sung out on a Summers’s night.

People are an Inspiration

Have you ever sat and wondered what effect you leave on a person. Not the irrational fear of teddy bears you left someone because of a prank, but an honest impression created in the space of a few seconds. I know my words may seem foolish, but I am quite sane in the membrane and I have a point to make here. There are many of you, among the few readers that accidentally clicked the link to this page, that feel insignificant. You find your existence more comparable to a fly than an actual human being. However, I would like to be of assistance in this matter, if you would so let me.

We, as human beings, are a peculiar creature. We experience this odd phenomenon known as feelings, a phenomenon that tends to direct the very decisions we make on a daily basis. [Now, understand, for those whose desire is to debate the validity of my previous statement, I ask that you not. I have a point to make, so just wait.]  Well, our emotions are affected by every situation, every inclination, every word, every smile, every cent and every dollar, every wave and every holler,  every “What’s Up” and every “Goodbye,” every laugh, and every cry. We’re moved to feel every moment of our lives. Constantly affected by the passing of the times and the shifting of the ground beneath our feet. Our moments make a memory that make that person. Crazy enough, you are a part of the process that make these moments.

Your smile illuminates the room, your laugh fills the halls with music, your brilliance paints your peers minds with wonder… You are like nothing that has ever existed on this Earth, nor will ever exist again. You are you, and that is incredible. People that pass you on the street, they witness you and cannot help but be overcome by curiosity. For the better part of a few seconds, a desire fills their heart and mind to know that which is you. Your unwritten story becomes a motivation to seek the truth. To seek you…

“Your smile illuminates the room, your laugh fills the halls with music, your brilliance paints your peers minds with wonder…”

What you have failed to realize, is that without your motivation to continue and fight, nobody will ever hear your story. Your story is more than a jotting down of a couple events and situations from birth to death. It is every beat of your heart since your inception. It is your every breath since your birth. It is every word since you were a baby. It is every step since you were a child. It is all of this, and yet, so much more. But, much more than this, can I tell you why it matters.

Yesterday, the old man walking across the street struggled to trek the journey over the dark pavement. His heart grew tired of the pain in his hips and back that caused much toil to travel about. En route to the other side and he caught a glimpse of you. The eighty-eight year old man, with impaired vision that softened every sight that he saw, worked arduously to focus his own vision. By the time things became much clearer, he witnessed the presence of smile painted smack-dab in the center of your face. In nearly ninety years of living he had witnessed much.

Travesty, heartache, loss, hurt, failure were among the few he had survived. However, what the man had come to understand was that his own existence was not defined by every situation, event, feeling and sentiment that came his way. Rather, it was his own existence that defined every situation, event, feeling, and sentiment. His perception of the world is what broke the shackles of control that his emotions and pains attempted to hold over him, and your smile reminded him of that.

Your smile can break the chains of someone’s bondage. Your laugh can tear down the walls of someone’s prison. Your words can send someone soaring above the clouds. Your existence can be the joy of another person’s existence. You can be the inspiration, you can be the change… all by being you.