So, the last time I was on here was about five days ago. I left my professional hello with a summary, extremely generalized, of what it is I wanted to do here. At the time I was seated in the college library blogging away before I had to go to my next class. Time has gone by and life has changed for the better. Since I last wrote, I had the opportunity to go to work, attend a “Mexican” wedding, go to church, and go dancing in the rain. An immensely enjoyable several days for which to ponder both my life and existence and the meaning of all of it as I danced to “La Vaca.” Here is what I want to share:
I am single at the time of this writing, and most likely, will be so for quite some time. I don’t say this to receive sympathy from those happily married or in a relationship. I state this as a fact to teach those in my position. At my age there are many who are longing, quite possibly, pining for a significant other in their life, and the effects of desire for someone to care for them can be quite damaging. I can recall a time, not too long ago, where I found myself so lost in selfishly longing for a girlfriend, that I ceased to care for my own existence or the memories that were being made around me. My parents, whom loved me ever so dearly, could do nothing but sit and pray and hope as I moped about at the hands of loneliness. I tried for ages to get a girl to like me, and whenever it seemed as though the ball was in my corner and I had finally achieved victory, it was fist of rejection that came and sent me flying back down into rock bottom. By the time of my first relationship, I had been rejected nearly twenty times by twenty different girls (and yes I know this is not a high number, but I am using this all to prove a point). At that stage of my life is was extremely hard to wake up and find a reason to be truly happy.
When I finally did find a girl who was willing to make pursuit of a relationship with me, her morals and beliefs were absolute opposite to that which I held in high regard. She drank, I abstained from all forms of alcohol (a reasoning I’ll provide at a later date). She did drugs, I didn’t do drugs. She had a kid and immediately wanted to have sex, I wanted to wait until marriage. She cussed like a sailor, I was trying to cut down on rude language. All those were just some of the examples of different lifestyle choices that I willingly overlooked because I was desperate to keep her. Yet, there was an even greater difference that stood as the ultimate reason for which our relationship was destined for failure.
She Lusted and I Loved…
Her emotions and sentiments towards me, and even the two other girls I dated after her, were solely based upon desire. Her desire was nothing more than sexual relation and the other physical benefits of a relationship. The two other ladies I dated had a desire for self-worth for which they believed I could give them through our relationship. The problem for myself was I loved. Not in a way for which young men whose hormones are running at five-hundred miles per hour say they love, but with a greater Love. As my first relationship was in full-swing I began to allow God to break bondage off of me. My heart no longer hurt like it once did, and I found myself not falling, but loving my girlfriend for who God had purposed her to be, as both a mother and an individual. Long story short, not a single relationship worked out for me, and here I sit still single. But, I am single with a reason, and this reason I give unto you.
Be patient. Wait and be patient for whomever it is that is destined to be with you. I can say from experience, I know it hurts waiting for a woman. I know that it seems to be the worst feeling in the world when there is an individual whom you’ve seemingly dedicated all that you can to, both physically and emotionally, and she in no way reciprocates those sentiments. It’s an ugly feeling. But, in what way is a continual pursuit of an individual who doesn’t feel for you make the situation any better. Not only do you hurt yourself, but you hurt the one that will become your soul mate. If you are not whole enough, having a self-worth, a self-appreciation, joy, and love, how can you support and be equals for your future spouse. You can’t. That is why singleness is a blessing in disguise. It gives all of us time to make ourselves ready for the person we plan to spend the rest of our lives with.
How do you emotionally prepare for Him/Her?
I don’t believe I will ever know all of those who sit down and spend time to read this blog, so I don’t know where you are in life and what you believe in. So, for whomever you may be, I want to tell you what Love is. Love is not the feeling/emotion you get looking at your spouse as they walk down the aisle. Love is not seeing your first child being born. Love is not the proud faces of your Mother and Father seeing you achieve your lifelong goals. Those are a product of what true love is. Love is a man named Jesus whose compassion for the people of this Earth reached further than the persecution and hate he ever received. Depression is serious, but it can be defeated. Today, wherever you may be I ask of you, that if you want to escape loneliness or if you want to be ready for your future spouse; give it to God. God’s Love, the real love that He gives and not the one people promote hate with, is so incredibly unconditional that it goes beyond your race, color, religion, and lifestyle choices. God loves you for who you are and whom He made you to be. It says Romans 3:23:
“for all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God,”
Nobody is perfect. Not one. And what you are going through, we have all been there. Even more, you are loved. I love you. Jesus loves you. If you want Jesus to be apart of your life, simply ask. Tell Him that you need Him. There is not an exact salvation prayer written in the Bible. The prayer is acknowledging you’re a sinner, acknowledging the death and resurrection of Jesus, and giving it to Him.
You’re Not Alone.
Despite circumstances and past things, your past isn’t who you are anymore. It is gone and forgotten and can never be brought up again. If you need to contact someone you can e-mail me at firstname.lastname@example.org. I hope this helped. This post really changed from beginning to end, but you’ll learn that’s me.